A Winner is Two! MAX Gigify
by An Ordinary Fan
Summary: Gig, once known as the killer of kings and the destroyer of worlds, is forced to participate in a fighting tournament after a hotpod heist gone horribly wrong. Sounds like it'll be a blast! Oh, but if only his powers hadn't been sealed away...
1. Prologue

**Prologue: A Hotpod Heist Gone Horribly Wrong**

"Ugh…dammit! You candy-***** have no idea who you're dealing with! "

Gig looked around, and found that his surroundings had changed drastically from when he was last conscious. Previously, he was in Vitali's restaurant, hiding out from a bunch of goons that owned a train he had hijacked & looted. And now, he was stuck in one of those strange mechanical flying machines, being piloted by a guy obviously ignoring his threats. They were, quite literally, heading towards a god-forsaken pile o' dirt in the middle of nowhere. Oh, how far the mighty manipulator of souls had fallen in the past two centuries…

Two hundred and one years ago, he was the Master of Death, a freakin' demigod. Not only did he have unimaginable fighting prowess, but also, he had control of three giant beasts known as World Eaters, which he used to completely devastate the world…until, of course, that Layna ***** cheated during a battle and managed to seal his soul inside of an onyx blade. Stupid daughter of some famous so-and-so named Median…he could be the king of the world by now if she hadn't stepped up and bested him in combat!

Twelve months ago, that blade was given to a chick named Reyva, which was his grand chance to regain a body and dominate the world all over again. That failed, because of the strength of the girl's soul. Still, Gig had hope; the girl and her friends were on a mission to destroy the World Eaters, which had still lived on even after his defeat. Since they needed his power to defeat them, Gig could just wait until Reyva used enough power to have her soul completely overtaken by his. But, of course, **** happens. By the end of the damn quest, the group had saved lives, toasted villains, and Gig had actually shown…ugh...humility. The adventure wasn't a total waste, though; since he had helped out a lot, Gig was given a body just like his previous one, minus the nifty powers.

Two weeks ago, his section of the world was about as normal as it got. Since he could not use his powers anymore…it was not that they were gone; it was just that he couldn't channel them properly with his pathetic mortal form…Gig had trained in hand-to-hand combat so he could still push others around. Reyva was off…well, he didn't really have a clue. Not that it mattered; after spending almost a year stuck inside her body, he was glad to get some personal space. And the team's healer, spy, and gourmet chef Vitali had opened up his own restaurant, which served the greatest of delicacies: Hotpods! No matter how they're sliced, diced, cooked, boiled, or et cetera, those things were worth saving the world for. As for everyone else…yeah, right; as if he really cared about those other meatheads!

Yesterday, he had heard that a fresh shipment of hotpods would be brought from the kingdom of Orviska to the city of Astec via a newly-built railway. Most other people wouldn't care less about this fact; the veggie-fruit-things weren't exactly a rare delicacy. But Vitali had shut him out of the restaurant again for overdue bills, and the entire kingdom of Orviska had banned him after he raided all of their farming ground a week back, so this was the only way Gig could get his hands on the tasty stuff. He snuck on board as it stopped to refuel at the small town dubbed Zazana, hijacked the train, and prepared to feast like royalty. However, when he checked the cargo, there weren't any hotpods in it. Instead, there was enough gold to buy the entire southern half of the continent, pay some guys to demolish the whole thing, and then rebuild it from the ground up with nothing but armpit hair! …Okay, that just sounded plain weird. But Gig still thought that it would get the point across, if he was actually talking to somebody about how the heck he wound up here.

Now, when the guys that were supposed to be guarding this stash of loot found him, Gig could tell by their faces that there was a damn good reason why the guys that owned the train…some company called BORED…had lied about the cargo. But he didn't think that now was a good time to start respecting authority figures, so he knocked out those peons and dashed to the nearest town with as much treasure as he could carry. He had little time to find a hideout, but luck seemed to be on his side; this was the same place that Vitali had established his restaurant. So, the former Master of Death had charged inside, and demanded for his former ally to give him sanctuary until the fuzz died down. It was a shame that more of those BORED guards came in and beat his mortal *** before the cleric accepted, 'cause he could've used the dough to pay off his debt.

Hours passed, and when he awoke, Gig was blindfolded. Some fool with a stuffy accent gave him an offer: there was going to be a tournament of some sort on a secret island. If he participated, not only would he avoid jail time, but he'd also get even more cash than the amount he tried to steal if he won! Plus, it was one of those 'win or die' events, and there was nothing Gig liked more than brutal carnage. Since his hands were free, he decided to take off his blindfold and see who he was addressing…finding that he was talking to a helicopter pilot. It was at this point that Gig had shouted that his kidnappers had no idea who they were messing with; while he actually enjoyed everything else about this situation, he was ticked off that somebody other than himself was controlling his near future.

As the helicopter approached the island, Gig wondered what kind of halfwits he would have to draw blood from in the next few days. Were they all former demigods such as him, or was it a varied bunch, filled with meatbags talented in other things than killing? He wondered if he'd have to fight Vitali; before he lost consciousness back at the restaurant, he saw some of the goons talking to the chef, accusing him of being an accomplice. But, even though Gig knew little about what would happen in the near future, one thing was certain: no matter whom he would face while on the isle, this tournament would be a freakin' blast!

* * *

**Author's Note:** Hello there, everyone! This is my entry into avatarjk137's new tournament, which is the sequel to his last tournament. For this tournament, I have chosen to play as two characters from the game **Soul Nomad & The World Eaters**. By now, it's quite evident that one of them is Gig, though his powers have been turned off in order to make things fair. Who's the other one? Well, if you can't figure it out from the text, you'll just have to wait and see!


	2. VS Waluigi

**Chapter 1: The Purple Enigma**

When we last left the star of this wonderful tale, the silver-haired former master of Death, he was taking a helicopter ride that he did not volunteer to go on. It was his punishment for robbing a train (the first one to ever exist on the continent) and trying to get away with it. What awaited him at the end of the ride, though, was something he was _very_ interested in: plenty of cash, and the chance to prove his bad-$$-ery to unlucky souls from worlds he hadn't even heard of.

As this segment of the story starts, Gig has made a bit of progress since then. He had been dropped off onto the southernmost area of the island where the grand fighting competition he was now a part of would begin. And I literally mean 'dropped off'; apparently, Random Schmuck Number Fifty-Who-Gives-A-**** (as Gig would always remember him as) thought that he didn't deserve the benefit of a parachute. After removing the sand from his shirt, he was fortunate (in a loose definition of the term) to reunite with Vitali, a familiar face from the past that Gig had dragged into this mess.

And now, they were starting to head into the jungle, in search for answers, justice, and a peaceful resolution to this whole affair…just kidding; Gig's been on Grand Cross Isle for less than a minute, and he's already tired of just waiting for some loser to pop up and get creamed by his two hands. He's also fairly hungry.

"So…are you SURE you didn't get a chance to stuff some hotpods down your pants before you got shipped off to this pile o' dirt?" Gig asked his travelling companion, stomach growling. "I'm freakin' STARVING over here!"

"As you've already told me. In fact, that's the fifteenth time you've told me in less than three minutes. Gig, the purpose of this competition is 'survival'. Other than what we need to fend off any competitors, we're supposed to _earn_ whatever benefits we need to continue," Vitali told him. "Besides, as a chef, I am strictly opposed to unsanitary acts such as storing food inside of one's garments."

"You and your stupid ethics. Well then, guess it's time to take matters into my own hands. I'll run ahead and see if there's any local wildlife waiting to be massacred for the sake of our lunch," Gig said to his travelling partner, as he started to run ahead and pass by him. Before he left Vitali's field of vision, he decided to say something else as well. "One last thing. That guy that zapped me and forced us to come here…you said that you found out that his name was Jade Curtiss on the ride here? If he shows up, tell me. I'll kick his ass so hard, it'll take the term 's**thead' to a whole new level!"

"Fine; I'll survey the nearby area and try to…" Vitali replied. At least, that's as much as Gig bothered to stick around and hear. A hungry stomach waits for no man, and it's even more impatient if you used to be a demon!

~!~!~

Cut to three minutes later, when Gig has gotten himself hopelessly lost…not that he cares, or anything.

"Not a hotpod," the white-haired character mutters as he examines the ground for anything vaguely similar to the one food item worth saving the world for. "Not a hotpod…not a hotpod…not a hot- WAIT A F**KING SECOND!"

As though the secret to total world domination was lying on the ground a few paces back, Gig dove towards what he thought was a hotpod plant with the intensity of a true madman. Almost instantly, he scarped down the plant, not even taking the time to brush the dirt off. "Yes! Yes yes yes! Come to daddy! Oh, that delectable aroma…the taste that flows down my mouth like a mountain stream…how I've missed you so!"

Just then, Gig heard the sound of rustling leaves coming from nearby. Being a tad paranoid, especially since he was powerless, Gig decided to peak through the leaves and see who or what was interrupting his meal. Past said leaves was a small clearing, where a man sitting on a stone was sorting through a duffel bag. Said man was rather…unique, to put it nicely. F***ing ugly, to put it in Gig's words. Over five and a half feet tall, looked like he weighed half of what a man at that height should weigh, had a bulbous red nose and a thin moustache, wore a purple shirt with black overalls…Gig couldn't help but smile. This sucker was either very stupid, or blind; either way, fighting him would be the perfect warm-up.

As Gig stepped out of the bushes and towards the stranger, the odd man got on his feet. The purple-clothed guy didn't take long to speak up. "Oy! Who're you? Some kinda emo nutjob? …Nah; probably just one of those wannabes that thinks they're going to get in the way of me winning those millions of millions of bucks. I'll let you know that you're looking at the amazing Waluigi, and I don't back down from a challenge! …Unless, y'know, I get a good enough bribe."

Gig's expression turned from sadistic joy to utter fury. "…Nutjob? Emo?!" WANNABE?! You obviously don't know who you're dealing with! You are looking at the former killer of kings, and the ex-destroyer of worlds! I'm the indestructible Gig, the most bad-a** and zetta awesome being to walk on mortal ground in the past two centuries! You? You only WISH you were this f***ing smooth! And what the **** does the 'Wa' part in your damn name stand for, ya fa***t? Let me guess; when you were a little brat, you used to s**t in your diapers all the time and cry for your mama, didn't you? You sure LOOK like a mama's boy. You gonna cry for mama in this fight, Wa-Loser? Do you want your bottle? Well, you won't be tasting any liquids except your own blood while I'm around!"

For a second, Waluigi was a bit stunned; censored or not, this wacko was certainly not the 'E for Everyone' type of character he'd find back home. But there was nobody that would stand in his way of winning the competition, going back home, crushing Luigi, wooing Princess Daisy, et cetera. The very thought of somebody that COULD do that infuriated him. "You're just jealous! You really want to mess with the big W-A-L? Do you?! 'Cause if you do, you're going to-"

Waluigi was interrupted by Gig picking up a nearby stone and throwing it at the plumber. Said stone did little damage, but it obviously intensified Waluigi's rage. "That's it; Waluigi time starts NOW!"

Using his limber limbs to his advantage, Waluigi quickly sidestepped the forward lunge that Gig decided to use as an opening move. The plumber quickly darted for his bag, only for Gig to tackle him against the rock the bag lay upon. Before Gig could punch out his teeth, Waluigi reached into the open bag and pulled out his tennis racket. First using it as a shield to block the blow, the plumber then used the sports gear to push the former commander of World Eaters off of him.

Before Gig could attempt another assault, Waluigi reached into his bag again and pulled out one of his trademark Bob-ombs. The mere act of doing this made Gig stop in his tracks. "Explosives? Seriously?! How the hell does a freak like you get the tech needed to blow up half of this freakin' island, and I didn't even get a last meal?! That's it; if I had my powers right now, I'd TOTALLY rip you to shreds right now, just for that! If anyone's going to cause utter chaos and destruction around these parts, then damn it, it should be ME!"

Treating the deadly weapon as though it was but a tennis ball, Waluigi lobbed it with his racket towards Gig. The white-haired ex-Master of Death managed to roll out of the way in time to avoid being hit; while the blast was small, with his lame mortal shell, it wouldn't take much to get KO'd. As Waluigi reached back into the bag and picked up another Bob-omb, Gig grabbed some dirt with his hand and tossed it at him. The plumber was temporarily blinded, and dropped the racket in order to wipe the filth out with his sleeve. This gave Gig enough time to try lunging towards him again, which successfully worked this time.

Before Gig could kick the man while he was down, Waluigi kicked first, knocking the albino-haired one a few paces back. Since he still held a Bob-omb, he decided to pitch it towards Gig. As Gig saw this, he prepared to dodge again…but once the pitch was thrown, it was surprisingly slow. This gave Gig an idea; why not catch the Bob-omb, and throw it right back at him? …Yes, this wasn't the BEST of ideas, but Gig wasn't too focused right now. He had to keep a close eye on the bomb; for a second, he almost thought that there were two of 'em, but he quickly corrected himself.

With surprising luck, Gig managed to catch the bomb, and it didn't explode in his hands. "Ha! Looks like it's time to fight fire with fire! Now I'll…"

Gig stopped talking, as he soon noticed that the item in his hand was transforming from an explosive into…a purple vegetable. Before he could ask WTF was going on, Waluigi decided to tell him. "That was my famous Liar Ball pitch, where I disguise one object as another, and throw 'em both at the same time. And what you're holding is none other than a Whiskered Eggplant! Unless you train yourself to tolerate it, mere contact with your skin will cause a person to toss their cookies! Naturally, it's my favorite vegetable."

"…You're serious, aren't you? That's too bats**t insane to NOT be true, especially considering that I'm going up against some wacko like you. Ugh…that's it, freak! If I end up barfing out those hotpods I've been waiting since yesterday to eat, you are going to PAY! First, I'll rip off those lanky legs of yours with my bare hands, and then I'll shove them right up your…" Gig ranted, until he realized that his opponent was no longer in view. "Hey, where the hell did you-"

"Twist Dunk!"

Gig turned upwards to the sound of the voice, just in time to spot Waluigi treating one of his explosives like a basketball. Specifically, he was slam dunking it through an invisible hoop and onto Gig's head. Though the sickness was already starting to get to Gig, he managed to drop the veggie and dive out of the blast's way. "Hey! No fair trying to blow me up when I'm nauseous! That's…cheating!"

"And nobody cheats better than Waluigi!" the plumber gloated. "I'm gonna be number one on this island, and then I'll go home and whoop Luigi's kiester! And then…I dunno, maybe take a nap. But right now, it's time to end your pretty boy life! WALL-LUIGI!"

Purple vines began to sprout from the ground around Gig. "Great; explosives, AND plant control. This competition is f***ed up," Gig said as he looked for an escape route…I mean, a 'tactical retreat' route. However, the only option was climbing up a tree. Since that seemed quite tiring, Gig managed to step aboard a vine that was still growing, and used it to boost him to the top of the tree.

Gig waited patiently for the plants to desist, watching the purple foliage collide with the tree, not even making a dent. After about a minute of watching this, Gig couldn't help but mutter, "What the f**k are these trees made of?!"

~!~!~

"Fucking trees!" Travis Touchdown, one of the Enforcers located elsewhere on the island, moaned as his priceless motorcycle once again hit a palm tree that refused to shatter on impact. "What're these things made of, Kryptonite?!"

In a fit of fury, Travis kicked the tree as hard as he could. While this luckily didn't result in injury, it caused a coconut to fall and dent one of his bike's fenders. "Aw, shit! …*sigh*…Well, at least I'm not being censored…"

~!~!~

"Motherf***ing plants! Motherf***ing plumber! MOTHERF***ING B.O.R.E.D.!"

Back with Gig and Waluigi, the competition had now become quite a bore. Gig remained in his tree, yelling obscenities at every opportunity. The vines got nowhere, and Waluigi was getting rather tired of all this. "So, the emo kid doesn't want to face the music? Then it looks like the great Waluigi will have to Dance Dance Revolutionize his behind! This looks like a job for my trusty 9-Iron!"

Waluigi reached into his duffel bag, and pulled out his golf club. He then summoned a vine underneath his feet to propel him up to Gig's level. He did not expect Gig to duck, causing the plumber to sail over him, miss striking him with the club, and fall flat on his face. This act broke the concentration needed to maintain the 'Wall-Luigi', and thus the plants shriveled up immediately.

Gig took this opportunity to jump off of the tree, and search for where Waluigi had moved that annoying bag he was keeping his arsenal in. It took Gig one second to find it; Waluigi had quickly recovered, and the bag was now hanging on his shoulder. In addition, Waluigi was holding a Bob-omb in each hand. "At times like these, you've got to ask yourself a good question. Like, does the amazing man in the purple gear have one hundred bombs left, or only fifty? You would NEVER last a hundred, but if you're lucky, you could possibly survive fifty. So you've got to ask yourself another good question: do you feel lucky, punk? Well, do ya?! 'Cause I sure do! Take THIS, you emo!"

And so began the most one-sided duel in history. As Waluigi tossed one bomb after another, each coming only seconds after the last, Gig was forced to prance around like the star of a ballet in order to avoid becoming instant-charbroiled. Just when he felt like he couldn't take much more, Gig managed to dive back behind the large rock, which would give him about two seconds of cover before it got totaled. More importantly, Waluigi's discarded racket was lying nearby.

"So, think I'm just some pansy whose bark is worse than his bite? Ha! Shows what you know, punk! I'm more than you think, and you're a maximum dink! And THIS…" Gig taunted, as he grabbed the tennis racket, jumped out from behind the rock, and used the racket to lob a Bob-omb back in Waluigi's direction, "…is coming right back at ya!"

The explosive made a beeline right at Waluigi's face, and bonked him on the head. In a stroke of bad luck…for the purple plumber, at least…it then landed right in Waluigi's bag o' explosives before going off. The resulting mushroom cloud could be seen for miles, though Gig took cover behind one of the near-indestructible trees before he could get caught in the blast. By the time he could see through the smoke, Waluigi had been blown back by a good foot, and his arm was heavily bleeding. His tennis racket had a sharp point where the handle should be, and the bomb-holding bag was now a pile of cinders that was vaguely bag-shaped. Also, there was a man-sized divot where the blast had occurred.

"Pathetic…this battle's practically over, and Mr. Mama's Boy didn't even last ten minutes! But I have to admit, that was one helluva hit you just took. And you're still alive! …For now. If I wasn't so p***ed off, I'd be kinda impressed. But I am VERY pi***d off right now, so…give me a second. What could I do that would possibly…ah, I know! It's the perfect revenge for a perfect Wa-Loser like you!"

Slowly, Gig bent down so that his face was level with the plumber's. He then carefully moved his hands until they were inches away from Waluigi's face. And then, with one rapid motion, Gig grabbed a hold of the man's mustache and yanked it right off of his face. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!" Waluigi screamed as the follicles were removed from his face. It was not a scream of pain, but of anguish. "M-my…my beautiful moustache! I-it took YEARS to perfect, you monster! Waah!"

"Heh…so, being a whiner IS what the 'Wa' part stands for. Don't worry too much about it, jerko; I'm actually a pretty nice guy," Gig said. "I'll make sure that you don't live with this pain for much longer. And when I say 'don't live with this pain', I mean 'add more pain until you'll need a 1-Up just to open an eyelid'…not that 1-Ups exist or anything. I should know, having been the Master of Death and all. But, I'm rambling, aren't I? Best to just get down and dirty, and end this now!"

Still pinning the plumber to the ground with one foot, Gig looked at an object lying nearby. It was the remains of the tennis racket; all of the weaving had come undone, and the handle now looked like the kind of stake that you saw in vampire movies. With one swift motion, Gig grabbed the giant wooden spike and drove it through Waluigi's throat, embedding it into the ground. Gig smiled as he watched Waluigi squirm to try and remove the now-bloody sports gear from his throat, looking at the gray-haired Killer of Kings with the upmost desperation, until he finally succumbed to blood loss and suffocation. "Game, set, and match," Gig muttered. "It looks like Waluigi time…has ended. Now, Mr. Lanky-Legs, let's see if you brought anything decent with ya…"

_Murder's pretty fun, but it's even better if you can get something good out of it_, Gig thought as he looked around at what was left of the surrounding area. The golf club that was lying nearby could prove useful, if for no reason other than it being made of metal. Since most of the other pieces of gear were either shattered or soaked in blood, Gig's next stop was to behave like a soldier in a First-Person Shooter game and raid Waluigi's body. Gig first decided to swipe the dead man's gloves, in case he needed a better grip or needed protection from something…such as the other Whiskered Eggplant that Gig inside of a pocket in the plumber's overalls. Whether it was to use against enemies himself, or to prank Vitali with it, the veggie could be useful.

There was only last thing that Gig wanted to do before he left. There was still a lot of shrapnel lying about, and Gig had a good idea on how to use it. In a matter of minutes, the smaller pieces were being used to pin the remains of Waluigi's dead body to a nearby tree, and the larger pieces were used to start a fire at its base. Finally, Gig swiped Waluigi's hat and put it on his own head, as one last 'f**k you' gesture to the corpse. With everything collected, the ex-Master of Death left the corpse to burn, and decided to walk back towards where he left Vitali. Hopefully, the cook would still be there to prepare a dish or two for him.

~!~!~

Meanwhile, from the safety of an Enforcer base with television screens, one green-cloaked man and a random henchman had just finished watching the action. "It appears as though the fights are progressing smoothly…that one with the purple man and that Gig fellow ended spectacularly, even if it was a tad gory for my tastes," the higher-ranked of the two uttered as he adjusted his glasses. "That's the problem with that C'Baoth fellow; just because you can make a man feel a certain way, doesn't mean that you can control the extent of those emotions."

"Uh, sir? According to our readouts, that one's immune to the Force. That display just now…it was completely natural of him," said the lower-ranked of the two. "What's more, he might have access to a few skills we thought that his current form had disabled permanently…this could lead to another mall incident!"

"Is that true, Henchman number 349? Best to keep an eye on him, then. After all, the blame would fall on my shoulders if he went a step too far."

The henchman looked at the Enforcer a bit oddly, as there had been absolutely no change in his tone of voice. "Commander Jade, sir? Shouldn't you be a bit more worried about this…this madman? This former Grim Reaper?"

"Oh, I'm positively frightened. Why, as I speak, my knees are shaking at a fevered pace," Jade replied, his knees not actually shaking. "Now, run along; I should really get back to studying my samples of the local plant life. Have you noticed how unnaturally tough some of the palm trees around here can be? This could prove to be very helpful in military application, you know."

**End of Chapter 1**

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* * *

**

**Author's Notes:** Well, there's my first real entry in this competition. I know it's a bit unfair that I'm uploading this much later than my opponent ( GAMBIT508 ) uploaded his, but seeing as I'm Canadian, and school doesn't end for me until next week, my scheduel can be a little overbooked.

...By the way, for those that don't check the official "A Winner is Two!" forum, expect Vitali's first battle to be posted before June 22nd. And hopefully, I should also have a bonus chapter typed up soon...


	3. Bonus 1: Odie

**Author's Note:** Wow...Gig got a trifecta when it came to judging! Not a single vote in my opponent's favor! ...Though, in all honesty, Gambit is still a wonderful writer. Better luck next time! Anyways, since Gig's home free, I decided to write this bonus chapter. But, before you read it...

**Warning! Spoiler alert!** Gig living through the final battle and getting a body of his own is one thing. Read what's below only if you don't mind knowing the MAJOR plot twists of "Soul Nomad"! Said twists include:

- Information on the final areas of the game

- Information on the final bosses of the game

- Information on how a Crimson Tear (an important plot item) is created

With that in mind, enjoy the chapter! ...Oh, and this will be the last chapter in which Gig is censored; you have my word.

* * *

**Bonus Chapter #1: Odie's Odyssey**

"Well, ****. Cook boy's not here," Gig muttered, as he returned to the spot where he and Vitali first split up. He knew he was in the right place, because he had tripped on a rock shortly after they split up, and he had passed said rock on the way back. As for why he was staying in place and not searching for the cook, there was a pretty good answer: this island was f**king huge, and it'd take way too damn long. "So much for pranking him with this Whiskered Eggplant. Looks like I'll just have to wait here until he come back…_if_ that pansy comes back, that is. He probably found another contestant and wet himself into a coma by now."

Gig decided to sit on a rather large rock nearby and wait until something happened. As he did, he couldn't stop himself from reminiscing about the recent past. "Man, I wonder whatever happened to all of those other two-bit losers I had to hang around with back on that journey. Revya, the stupid cow chick, those fruity cherubs…hell, I'm even starting to wonder where that pathetic magician wound up. I haven't seen that goofball since they first built that train…"

~!~!~

To find the answer to Gig's question, one must travel back in time. Specifically, about two days before Gig's big train heist screw-up. We must also head to the kingdom of Orviska, which is known widely for its wonderful economy, having a twelve (now thirteen)-year-old girl as its queen, and exporting hotpods to the rest of the world. Naturally, this was one of Gig's favorite places to visit, even back two centuries ago when he was using the place as his headquarters while his World Eaters were blowing up the rest of the continent.

The 'pathetic magician' that Gig referred to is known to most in the land as Dio of the Evil Eye…not to be confused with a certain Get Backer. However, Dio's true name was Odie, and he certainly had a long history with Gig, Revya, and the people that Revya & Gig encountered on their adventure. Though he was nothing more than a Mid-Boss when they had first encountered, he eventually decided to switch sides and join them on their quest to save the world.

On this fateful day, Odie was running down a corridor towards the palace's throne room. The first thing he did when he reached the throne room…was trip and fall onto his masked face. He may have grown more skilled as a wizard after meeting Revya, but he was still quite clumsy. The second thing that Odie did was to get back onto his feet, and the third was to address the queen with a matter that he thought was urgent. "Your majesty! As the current Dio, I feel that I must inquire about the train being built across the land. The tracks are taking up a lot of farming space, and the people find it hard to sleep with this 24-hour construction. Do we need a train, anyways? I'm pretty good friends with the cherubs; they could just fly to wherever you need stuff delivered."

"…Hmm? Sorry, Dio dear, I didn't hear you; I was too busy finishing my nails," uttered young queen Diness. She used to be a bit of a ditz that depended on others in order to avoid not running the kingdom into the ground. While she still acted as young as she was every now and then, Odie's confidence-boosting seminars were improving her decision-making skills.

"The train, m'lady. Why is it being built?" Odie asked again.

"Hmm…why _did_ I approve of such a thing? …Ah, I remember! I believe the last Dio mentioned something about that a day or so before…well, you know. And silly me, I always used to just approve anything he said without really considering it. But, he might've left some kind of notes about it behind," Diness told him.

"Of course," Odie muttered, memories of the last Dio still haunting him. "I'll go check right now."

~!~!~

In the kingdom of Orviska, the title 'Dio of the Evil Eye' was passed down through generations of Dracon wizards. The last Dio before Odie was none other than Odie's older brother, who was certainly a conniving character. He had used his magical abilities to bring life back to Median the Conqueror, a war hero from over two hundred years ago that had united the continent of Prodesto. Unfortunately, Dio required human sacrifices in order to keep Median (who was now going by the name of Ghestal) alive. Between that, and the fact that Median had plans to kill all of the Masters of Death for revenge purposes, it was pretty much a sure deal that Revya, Gig, and everyone on their side (including Odie himself) had to kill him.

When the battles were over and the world became peaceful again, Odie got his brother's old job, and the perks that came with it. Since his brother's room in the castle had yet to be completely cleaned out, Odie decided to search through things and try to discover any documents involving trains that may have been left behind. To his luck, hidden inside of an old textbook, there was an odd parchment that bore a mark unlike that of any of the land's kingdoms.

Odie pulled out the parchment and held it near a lantern, going over the words slowly as to not miss a single detail. Apparently, his brother had been a part of a secret organization called B.O.R.E.D., which existed in a world outside of his own. This didn't really faze Odie, as Revya, Gig, and their friend Danette (the 'stupid cow chick' mentioned by Gig) had to travel to an alternate world known as Drazil near the end of their world-saving quest. What DID faze Odie, however, was what B.O.R.E.D.'s staff was planning to use the train for.

Apparently, there were quite a few members of this organization that, while incredibly skilled in some way or another, still decided to make a profit by performing…calling them 'crimes' seemed too light of a word. To cut to the chase, in order to avoid authorities, their vast fortunes would be carted to his world en masse. To put things in perspective, it would be similar to a man opening a Swiss bank account to avoid the IRS...except that the man could BUY Switzerland with the stored funds, and the bank was the SIZE of Switzerland.

Millions…nay, _billions…_nay, _**trillions**_ of dollars were going to be carried on that train. _**Daily**_. And each and every cent of it was earned at the expense of the innocent, of those that suffer through no fault of their own.

Odie knew that this had to be stopped immediately.

~!~!~

By the time evening had approached, he had gone through every acquaintance he had in order to find help. And everywhere he turned, there was failure. His old friend Vangogh had to stay at home, as his wife was still angry about something they had fought about last week. Danette, who still called him Sluggo because of his mask, said she was too busy defending her village. Revya was still nowhere to be found, but as the last anyone had heard from her involved some sort of Demon Academy, it was probably better off not trying to find her. And the second he had told Gig about a train passing through Orviska, he had dashed off…probably because he thought it would just carry hotpods, and the former Master of Death was banned from any establishment that offered them.

There was only one place he had left to turn to, and that was the land of the Nereids. To those who don't know who they are…first off, I'm a bit ashamed at you. After all, they're introduced fairly early in the plot, which means that you must've just read a few things that will ruin your game play experience. But, I'll tell you who they are anyways. With the exception of the queen, who is a traditional mermaid, a Nereid is a mermaid with legs instead of a giant fish tail, and they can survive on land for a rather decent amount of time.

Now, Odie was a bit worried about this meeting. After all, the first time he had encountered the Nereids, they were having a meeting with Revya that he interrupted in order to get revenge on the red-haired girl. And after he got beaten up by Revya, he had never really encountered them again. Even Juno, the one that traveled alongside Revya for a fair amount of time, wasn't anywhere near close to be known as even an acquaintance. But, the Draconian (sorry; not even this author knows what exactly defines a Draconian) wizard had nobody else to turn to for help, and desperate times call for desperate measures.

He soon found himself standing before their leader, Queen Alexemia, where he presented his case. Luck must have been with the bumbling spell caster, as she took pity on him and offered the assistance of her troops. She also entrusted Odie with something the wizard didn't think she would have: a Crimson Tear. They were considered very rare and illegal to use before Revya's journey; after it was discovered by the masses that a person's soul was needed to create one, the odds of finding one became even rarer. Still, if B.O.R.E.D. truly existed in another dimension, Odie would need the power of one to reach it.

~!~!~

By the time midnight had fallen, Odie was ready to begin his odyssey. He had a small rowboat with fishing gear in it, which he would need to survive on the open seas. He also had a bag of items called 'Gig Edicts'; while Gig was no longer a Master of Death, these items had been enchanted before the change occurred, and Odie could use them in order to keep his stamina high. The queen had assigned Juno and thirteen of her subordinates to help his cause, all of which had finished gathering their own supplies. It appeared as though, if he was ever going to go through with this ridiculous plan, now would be the time to start it.

"Well, Juno, it looks like we're about ready to go. Just in case, could you do one final inventory and status check? I'd hate to leave something important behind."

"It's who-knows-how-many miles to Grand Cross Island, we've got an ocean full of food, a half pack of Edicts, it's dark, and you're wearing a stupid mask."

"…Let's hit it."

Odie got onto the boat, pulled out the Crimson Tear, and placed it in front of him. Channeling as much magical energy as he could, he focused on the gem, using its power to try and open a rift for them to travel through. Soon enough, the fifteen characters and the boat they were on were glowing red with energy. And the next second, they were gone, whisked out of their land in a flash of light.

And that is how Juno and Odie's journey to try and find B.O.R.E.D., and put a stop to their organization, began. Yes, it seems hopeless. Yes, it's been at least two days since the competition, and not a single member of B.O.R.E.D. has even mentioned mermaids and a masked wizard attempting to assault their base. Yes, this will have no effect on any of Gig or Vitali's future battles. But is their quest entirely in vain? It appears that, as cliché as it sounds, only time will tell…

**END OF BONUS #1**


	4. VS Leroy

**Author's Note:** Welcome back to 'As the World Turns'…I mean, MAX Gigify. In this chapter, I (try to) justify the censoring, someone gets pranked, and there's a fight. And speaking of censoring, now that the rating is M, expect some really vulgar words to be emitted from Gig's mouth from here on (and frequently, might I add).

By the way; just to warn you, I've been having a hectic couple of weeks. I didn't find time to finish this until five in the morning. So, if the quality of this chapter seems a bit inferior to those prior, I have an excuse.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Rebirth of Chaos**

As this chapter begins, oddly enough, we do not immediately focus on that lovable sadist known as Gig. Instead, it begins with a conversation between Jade Curtiss and Random Henchman #57, AKA the pilot of Gig's helicopter.

"Please, number fifty-seven, stop making a scene. Just because he referred to you as 'Fifty-Who-Gives-A-Shit', it gives you no right to cry to me about it."

"B-but he swore at me! Repeatedly! I'm a very emotional goon, you know!"

"Oh, that bothersome Grim Reaper expy swears at nearly everyone…speaking of which, do you think I should deactivate that microchip?"

"…What microchip, sir?"

"The one I planted on Gig. It causes a loud noise to be emitted every time the man cusses. Did you believe that those beeps were just coming out of thin air?"

"Uh…of course not, sir!"

"…Well, either way, it's becoming more bothersome than the actual swearing would be. I'll turn it off immediately. By the way, have you found my usual attire yet? This green variation just feels so…unfitting."

"Still working on it, sir!"

~!~!~

"…Damn it. Where the fuck is Vitali? …Hey, that stupid censoring stopped!"

When we last left Gig, he had recently beaten up a middle-aged plumber by sticking a tennis racket through his throat, followed soon after by looting his corpse and setting his body aflame. In the ex-Master of Death's opinion, it was a fairly decent way to begin a legalized mass murdering campaign. He hadn't felt the thrill of a kill since he obtained a mortal body, and it was a feeling most sweet to him. Anyways, after the match, Gig returned to where he and his companion had split up, deciding to wait as long as he needed until-

"As neither of us knows a man named Godot, I assume you're waiting for me."

Gig jumped up in shock and turned around, only to wind up face-to-face with the cleric he had been waiting for. "Holy shit, you've GOT to stop doing that! …Wait, what was that about some maggot named Godot?"

"There's a famous play called 'Waiting for Godot'…though, in hindsight, I shouldn't have expected you to understand that reference," Vitali replied. "But right now, that hardly…why are you wearing that odd chapeau?"

"It's called a 'hat', dimshit. Part of the spoils I got after utterly slaughtering my first victim…speaking of which, I also won this-"

"Oh, never mind that," Vitali interrupted. "As I was trying to tell you earlier, I have grander concerns at the moment. For you see, while we were separated, I managed to find some shelter for us. Cutting to the heart of the matter…a term which you should undoubtedly like…somebody already inhabits that particular location. And as I my previous encounter with another survivalist didn't go too well…I'll elaborate on that later…"

"Let me guess; you're asking this bad-ass motherfucking killer of kings to slaughter 'im for you, since you're just a pansy that couldn't even kill a mosquito if one landed on your arm. Don't worry; this'll be over in five-"

"Actually, the fellow is already severely wounded. If I healed him, we would not only get a place to stay, but possibly some assistance as well. I just wanted you to stand outside and guard the entrance, so I'm not attacked from behind."

"…That's fucking lame," Gig said with a sigh. "Oh, well. S'not like any other scumbags are just going to waltz up towards me and pick a fight anytime soon; that'd be way too easy. All right, chef boy; just lead the way."

~!~!~

In a matter of minutes, Gig was standing outside of a cave…well, 'cave' might not be the _best_ word to describe it. Apparently, after his fight with some fellow named Hackey, Mr. Come-out-of-nowhere-and-scare-the-shit-outta-you had found a river. He decided to follow the river, and found that it flowed into and through a hidden cavern. But, inside said cavern was a man in what appeared to be a labcoat, who had blown himself up by accident after some kinda experiment went awry. And now, while Vitali was doing his moral duty of healing the wounded, Gig was doing his boring duty of preventing his cook from becoming cooked by some bloodthirsty third party.

"Come and get it, you stupid punkass!" Gig taunted…to the plant life around him. No bloodthirsty parties had actually shown up yet, but Gig had a ton of adrenaline still rushing through him after his last fight, and was in the mood to burn it off in the goriest way possible. So what if he had but a fraction of a fraction of the power he once had? If the Wa-Loser battle was any indication, he could still hold his own in battle, and was prepared to dominate the competition.

As time passed on, Gig could hear some faint sounds coming from the cavern he was guarding. He guessed that Mr. Labcoat and Vitali found out they couldn't really live together, and resorted to beating the shit outta each other to see who gets to stay. While Vitali wouldn't be able to use his stealth skills in such an enclosed area, the ex-Master of Death had given him Wa-Loser's golf club earlier, so he wouldn't be at too much of a disadvantage in another fight. Gig was tempted to leave his post and watch whatever bloodshed was occuring, when he realized that he wasn't the only one attracted to the sounds of the scuffle; something was approaching from behind a bunch of bushes nearby.

"Hey, punkass! Stop being a sniveling coward; come out and show your face already!" Gig yelled at whoever was behind the bushes. On cue, out of the bushes came a…thing. A small, orange, black-eyed…thing. As his dimension didn't have anything similar to koalas, or non-wolf-esque dogs, 'thing' was the best word to describe it as…actually, compared to 'koala' or 'dog', the word 'thing' is a pretty good guess when it came to identifying the organism.

"So, the human thinks he's pretty bold, does he?" said Leroy, surprising Gig with its ability to speak. "Before you decide to mess with forces you can't handle, I'll tell you a little about myself. I am a genetic experiment created by Doctor Jacque von Hamsterveil, using technology stolen from Doctor Jumba Jookeiba. You may call me 'Leroy'. My physical prowess is equal to the strength of about ten people, my agility can match a wildcat's, and my intelligence is most certainly higher than the average scholar. Also, I have served time in intergalactic prison for crimes against humanity. What do you have to say to that?"

"…I have absolutely no idea what the hell you're saying," Gig replied, a confused look on his face. "Are you going to continue being Mr. Exposition, or can we just get to the part where I rip a new hole into that shrimpy little body of yours"

"…Can't say that I didn't try to warn you," Leroy said as he did something Gig thought impossible. The less-than-three-feet-tall critter had just picked up a tree. Specifically, the kind of vine-proof, explosion-proof trees that had saved Gig's ass in the last fight. And then, the little mutant split it over his knee, and looked like he was about to use the two pieces to beat Gig's head in.

It all happened so quickly, so suddenly, that Gig could only utter, "Holy sh-"

…As you might've guessed, he got smacked before he could finish the sentence. One single attack, a solitary motion, brought him to the ground. What's more, Gig could feel extreme pain in his left shoulder. Also, some kind of liquid. This heavily implied that Leroy had broken his arm. Obviously, Gig is…well, screwed.

"Damn it…how the devil am I losing to a creature half my size?" Gig muttered as he attempted to stand back up, though he fell flat on his face; in hindsight, using his probably-broken arm to support himself was a stupid idea. Mentally, he kept cursing himself, over and over again. He had practically ruled a continent two centuries ago, and now he was about to die without even a marked grave. If only he was still the Master of Death, with all the powers that came with the position…

Just then, Gig felt a ripple throughout his body, as if something inside had suddenly sparked. He hadn't felt it before…couldn't have if he had tried…but it was now coursing throughout his entire being. He could feel his dormant powers becoming not-so-dormant, his mere willpower draining energy from the blood-soaked land in order to reawaken them. All he needed was a little push; the feeling of utter defeat, which he had never felt before.

To some, this might seem a bit like Deus Ex Machina; his demon-like skills coming right when they're needed with the kind of explanation you'd find in a bad anime. But as Gig got back onto his feet, successfully this time, the only thing he thought about this new development was that it was about time to use them for some comeuppance. "I hope you had your fun, ya damn mutant cat! Round two has just begun, and I ain't going to beat around the fucking bush any longer!"

"Why is it…that you've taken all this damage…yet your aura is growing…_stronger_! What is it…that's _driving_ you?" Leroy asked, amazed by the white-haired teenager. He could see it with his genetically modified eyes; dark energy rising from the ground and seeping into his opponent, revitalizing his body and spirit. To see a human with this kind of ability was downright incredulous. "This…surge of energy…it's magnitudes behind your old abilities! How?!"

"Heh…did you just say 'how'? Guess it'd be rude of me not to tell ya. You see, in a nutshell…I am power made flesh. Feel how weak you truly are!" Gig replied, as he got back onto his feet and glared at the little menace. The Master of Death then snapped his fingers, allowing the powers that he had regained to take the form of a red-and-black scythe attached to his right arm.

Leroy decided not to bother inquiring further on this matter, as his opponent was now even more prepared to strike than he had been at the beginning of the match. As quickly as his arms could move, the genetic experiment swung one of his makeshift clubs at the mortal…only for it to be split into quadrants before it could make contact, with each piece completely missing Gig when it fell to the ground. "…What, you thought that 'power made flesh' thing was just hype? I'm motherfucking GIG, the Master of Death once more! I'm the killer of kings and destroyer of worlds, baby! Now, come at me like you mean it!"

Deciding to take his challenge, Leroy ran forward, appearing as though he was going to use his half-a-tree as a jousting lance. Gig was ready to slash it to pieces like the other piece, but Leroy instead thrust it into the ground in front of the World Eater commander. The little alien was vaulted upwards, and due to the position of the setting sun, Gig couldn't possibly see the runt without getting an eyeful of glare.

However, Gig didn't _need_ to see when he had to counter; since Leroy was going to land right on him, it was a mere matter of waiting until he could hear the sound of air rushing past his ears. You see, when an object moves through a gas, the usually-far-apart air molecules are…well, this isn't the time for a science lesson, is it? It's best just to get to the point, and say that Gig swatted the beast like a fly, using the scythe that had just moments prior decimated a nearly-indestructible part of a tree.

"…You really think you can eliminate one of the greatest bioengineered weapons of the twenty-first century, AKA me, singlehandedly!? How dare you!" Leroy shouted, as he stood back up without a scratch on him. Sadly for the little mutant, this action only fueled Gig's madness.

"How? HERE'S how!" Gig yelled, with such fury that it would make a man like Sweeny Todd back down in fear. The Master of Death then charged towards his opponent, but Leroy ducked before he could be hit with a slash to the face. The mutant then attempted to punch Gig while his guard was open, but Gig quickly kicked him into a nearby tree before the blow could land. Leroy quickly recovered, and prepared to lay a real smack down on Gig; in order to have made that kick, Gig would have had to give up his footing, and thus topple to the ground. But, oddly enough, Gig was not where he was moments prior.

"I _dare_ it…"

Leroy looked up, to the source of the voice. Gig was now in the sky, his scythe having morphed into a pair of wings that were now supporting him. Sadly, Leroy could not look for long; the killer of kings was using his earlier strategy of being right before the setting sun. And while Gig could avoid someone falling due to regular gravity pull, Leroy received an uppercut to the face when Gig swooped down to battle.

"…You **take** it…" Gig continued as he landed on the ground, transforming his wings back into a scythe. The punch had launched Leroy into the air, leaving him wide open for the next blow: literal impalement. "…END OF STORY!"

With a flick of his wrist, Leroy's body slid off of the scythe. However, the alien wasn't quite dead yet; Gig's stab did not pierce his entire body, nor did it hit any vital organs. In addition, his rate of recovery was much quicker than regular humans. Not that it mattered much, though; Leroy's opponent was in the perfect position to finish him, and it was impossible to recover from death.

"…What are you waiting for, you monster? Just finish me off while you have the chance. It's not like I have much to look forward to if I can leave this island in one piece; just an abusive brother and a lifetime of community service," Leroy uttered, struggling to stand back up.

Slowly, Gig walked towards the little beast, his scythe at such an angle that light from the setting sun was reflected into Leroy's eyes. The silver-haired man stopped a few paces before the creature, raised his scythe into the air, and then…chose to have his weapon fade away instead of using it to deal a killing blow. "…Nah. Don't really feel like it anymore."

"…Don't _feel_ like it?" Leroy said. Similar to Gig at the beginning of the battle, it was now the little mutant's turn to wear a confused look upon his face.

"What can I say? I'm fuckin' exhausted after all of that," Gig replied, spitting out some blood from his mouth. "Ugh…I got my skills back, but it looks like this pathetic mortal body couldn't handle it too well. How does that saying go? 'The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak'. Sounds about right. Besides, I don't think I could bring myself to kill you, even if I could."

"So, the Grim Reaper has a heart?"

"…Eh, not really," Gig replied. "I just figure that it would probably be a good idea to find a powerful ally and completely decimate the competition. If my friend from back home and my now-dead first opponent are any indication of how pathetic the rest of the competitors are, we could this stupid tournament over with in about a day or two, so we can go back to our respective homes and kick ass on our own terms. Speaking of alliances, if I can summon my scythe, I probably have my Power of Dominion back, too. All you've gotta do is accept the fact that I'd be the boss of the team, and I could practically double your battle prowess with my abilities…oh, and I'd be able to summon you to fight for me whenever I want, but isn't that a small price to pay when it comes to godly power?"

"…Perhaps some other time, but not now. Remember what I was saying about a sadistic brother? I was supposed to be out looking for some food, and he'll be furious if I don't get back soon. Remember how awestruck you were when I snapped that tree in half? 627 can do that with his _mind_. He'd then set the two halves on fire, paralyze you with a lightning bolt, grow a second head, and then laugh like a hyena while watching every last millimeter of blood run out of your body. After that, he'd probably try to suffocate me with your guts for no reason."

"…Sounds like my kind of guy," Gig muttered, smiling like a slasher. Remembering something, he then said, "You know, pipsqueak, I might have an answer to your food problem…"

~!~!~

Some time later, Leroy had made it back to the designated area he and his 'cousin' had set up camp. Waiting for him there was the 627th Experiment of Dr. Jumba, who was a sinister, sadistic madman who loved nothing more than doing evil. For the record, that is describing the experiment, not the doctor. The experiment, usually referred to by his order number, had tagged along with Leroy to Grand Cross Isle because he wanted to keep tabs on, quote, 'his favorite punching bag'. Obviously, they had a very different group dynamic compared to the likes of Vitali and Gig, who could at least not pick fights with each other.

"Well, well; look who DIDN'T get utterly annihilated yet," 627 uttered when he say Leroy come into view. "So, did you manage to find something to eat, like I ordered you to? Or were you unable to handle even a simple task like that? "

"Actually, I did," Leroy replied, showing 627 a vegetable he had acquired fairly recently…an eggplant. It was taking every ounce of Leroy's concentration NOT to feel sick, though 627 couldn't tell, as Leroy usually looked like he was in pain…the times he's bothered to look at him instead of just torturing him, that is.

"Took you long enough!" 627 said, as he snatched the veggie from Leroy's hands and swallowed it in one gulp. "Maybe you AREN'T completely worthless after-"

The yell of absolute distaste that came seconds later echoed all across the isle. It was the little things like this that made Gig truly appreciate the life he had.

**Chapter 2: END**


	5. VS Ban Midou

**Author's Note:** Japanese names always bug me, for in Japan, the last name goes first. Did I get this chapter's name right, or should I have called it 'VS Midou Ban'? Perhaps I'll never know.

**DISCLAIMER:** …Did I forget to put one up way back, when this story first begun? Either way, I'd like to remind you, the readers, that I do not own Gig, nor do I own any other character that has/will appear in this story. If I did, there would've been a Soul Nomad cameo in that recently-released Phantom Brave remake for the Wii.

-------------------------

**CHAPTER 3: Battle of the Jackasses**

El Nino. Monsoon season. A time of the year when the weather really began to suck. Gig wasn't sure what exactly the tournament hosts would call what was going on outside, but he didn't like it one bit. Vitali had been amazed when the rains started up, mumbling some nonsense about how the droplets could have passed through the force field surrounding the isle. Gig had bigger concerns to worry about, though. After all, even if he had miraculously accessed his inner powers again during his fight with the Leroy, his current body was still pretty shabby…including having a horrible disease-control system.

"ATCHOO! Nammid, Bitali; hurry up!" Gig hissed…or at least, tried as best as he could to hiss with a phlegm-filled nose. While more often connected to healing wounds gained in battles, clerics like the one Gig was allied with were also capable of more mundane tasks like curing colds. That didn't mean the process was quick and easy, of course.

"…In your condition, a little rest can do wonders, so just try to relax for a few moments," Vitali told the demi-human, trying hard to avoid uttering a flat-out 'Shut up; being a doctor is hard enough without your whining'. "Now, it appears that Membrane, the man we won this temporary abode from, didn't leave behind many materials that I could use in my medicine. While I could use your protection again, you'd be best staying in here and out of the bad weather whilst I go out and find some herbs."

"For dour sae, dou'd better durry," Gig said, giving a glare that seemed to pierce the soul. Vitali, wisely, beat a hasty retreat. As soon as the cleric left, Gig let out a mighty sneeze; one large enough to temporarily clear his nose and allow clear speech again, to the relief of the author writing this. The white-haired man then sat down on the patch of dirt he had been using for the past few days, and waited for the cleric to return. Knowing the stealthy Vitali, it shouldn't be too long a wait.

~!~!~

Three and a half hours later, and Vitali was still a no-show.

"What the fuck could've happened to the geek?!" Gig shouted, his cry echoing inside of the cavern. After a while, with nothing else to occupy his thoughts, he also found himself thinking about Revya, and Danette, and Odie…the last of which was quite odd, he realized. The failure-rific mage was nothing but the leader of a Goldfish Poop Gang, and then had, what, fifteen minutes in the spotlight after a Heel Face Turn? …Still, one had to wonder just what became of the poor Dragonian…

~!~!~

Meanwhile, a good eighty or ninety mile away from Grand Cross Isle, in the middle of the sea, away from the storm clouds, we can identify sixteen merpeople and one very melancholy wizard…

"You know, back when we were on dry land, this didn't seem like such a bad idea," Odie sighed.

"Well, maybe if you had told that navy guy that you were lost, instead of coming up with some ridiculous story about being a fisherman, then we could've found the island by now," Juno replied.

"What if he was part of that group my brother was a part of? We'd be DEAD in seconds! Besides, it was weeks ago; just give me a break!"

"How can I, when I know that I've left my darling Penn behind?"

"Well, at least he's well-protected. There's the thousand or so Nerieds that are still in your village, plus Endorph, Danette, Galahad, Pinot, Agrippa, and all of our other friends. And then there's…"

"That doesn't matter! The entire continent could be risking their lives to make sure not a single hair on Penn's little head is out of place, and I'll still be worried about the little darling!"

"Well, as the current Dio, all I can say to that is- OW!"

"…Ow?"

"A bottle! A bottle just came out of nowhere and hit me square in the mask!" Odie stated, rubbing the sore spot that has been on the side of his face/mask/you-know-what-I-mean for all of five seconds.

Juno was quite curious as to what just happened; acting on this impulse, she gazed ahead with her Nereid eyes, and noticed something odd. Some ways out, perhaps a good twenty miles, there was a rowboat quite similar to theirs. However, this boat appeared to be driven by a man in a flashy costume…it looked like it was black and red, but from this far out, Juno couldn't be absolutely certain. But, the details didn't really matter; after all, to see another boat out this way only meant one thing.

"Odie, I think we're almost there! I think we're almost at that Grand Cross Isle place from your brother's memoirs!"

"…Really? Excellent! It will only be a matter of time until we find the sinister corporation my brother was a part of, infiltrate it, and then…then…uh…geez, I _really _should've thought this plan through better."

~!~!~

"…Eh, that nitwit probably fried himself to death with one of his own lightning bolts," Gig thought aloud, not knowing of the true fate of the current Dio of the Evil Eye. It was then that he noticed a figure standing in the rain outside of his base; while his first thought was that it must be Vitali returning from his herb search, Gig realised that the person's figure was all wrong. This only meant one thing.

This was another contestant, and this was blood-spilling time. And if Gig got a good enough shot, even in his sub-par condition, it might also be entrails-spilling time.

"Nothing special…but, I guess it'll do until the rain stops," the stranger said to himself as he entered the cavern and glanced around the place. The place had a dirt floor, high ceiling, the occasional plant, and a man with a red nose…probably due to the horrible weather conditions. The stranger, Midou Ban, decided not to remark on the fellow's presence; he wanted to be more focused on any weapons the man held than on the man himself, especially since he had lost a few hairs to a flying sword while examining mountains some time ago.

Now, anybody that knows Gig, knows that he has a very short temper. Combined with feeling under the weather, and you've got yourself one angry teenager with semi-phenomenal, nearly-cosmic powers. "What the hell are you looking at, you…you…ATCHOO! …You jackass! This is MY hideout, so unless you'd like to be ripped inside-out and have your spine decimated, hit the road!"

Unlike his previous opponent, it appeared to Ban that Gig was both the kind of guy that would be fine fighting somebody he hardly knew, AND overconfident in his own abilities. With any hope, this would be twice as interesting as the fight with Nero had been. "Temper, temper. Can't a guy at least wait out a storm without worrying about murderers nowadays? Besides, look at yourself; I would doubt you could even catch a cold, except your sneeze has already disproven such a thought."

"Couldn't catch a cold?!" Gig stammered, as the stranger had made a direct hit on one of his berserk buttons. "You've got no clue who you're looking at, punk! I'm motherfucking GIG, the killer of kings and destroyer of worlds! And as the most powerful, not to mention ONLY, official Master of Death on this fucking island, you've got three seconds to scram before I separate your soul from your body!"

A hothead, a loudmouth, AND the embodiment of human expiration itself? Ban knew that hope was no longer necessary; this would _definitely_ be one of the high points of this silly little tournament for him. "Only three seconds? I'd imagine it would take that long just to get off of your scraggly haunches and-"

"That's it; hope you enjoyed those three seconds! It's time to bring the slaughter straight to the lamb!" Gig shouted as he leapt like a lynx, his mouth in a contorted grin, towards his opponent. Deciding that an annoying loudmouth like the little twerp in front of him should just die as soon as possible, Gig focused all of his strength into piercing his opponent's chest with nothing else than his bare fist and the tiny amount of demon energy that his mortal frame could hold onto. Then, with a yank, Ban's heart had been removed from his body in a way that would make a Mortal Kombatant weep with joy.

"And another one bites the dust!" Gig gloated, as he threw the heart over his shoulder and stared at the dead body. Now, had Gig been fighting a regular, run-of-the-mill mortal, this would be the end; having the organ that pumps life-sustaining blood throughout your system ejected in the most painful method possible is not something that all but the fiercest opponents could survive. Which is why Gig actually looked surprised when the stranger's body started twitching, and within seconds, was back on its feet.

"Holy shit…" Gig uttered in surprise, his mouth agape. What he saw before him was vastly different than what had hit the ground. The boy's eyes were shining, and as blank as newly-fallen snow, suggesting that whatever traces of a soul he had moments earlier had completely faded away. His jaw, clinging onto the rest of his face by only a few strands of rotting flesh, revealed that his teeth were now pointed. In short, it was like looking in the face of a beast that had been feral all its life, had died from rabies, and had then come back as a zombie. The rest of the boy's body matched this image perfectly.

However, what Gig saw did not truly exist; one of Midou Ban's skills was that he was a master of illusion. In actuality, the boy had snuck to the back of the cavern some time ago; back when Gig stared him in the eyes and told him he had three seconds to leave. He thought it was cute that he was able to pull the same trick twice on two separate demonic (at least, seemingly demonic) entities, especially considering that Gig had referred to himself as the kind of guy who sees dead things on a regular basis. Perhaps he was nothing other than some boaster just trying to get a fierce reputation without walking the walk…

…Or perhaps he actually had the talent to back up his claims, Ban considered, as he then saw Gig headbutt the imaginary beast. The white-haired man then ripped out the arm of Ban's fake self, and proceeded to shove it claw-first up the beast's hindquarters. "This is the greatest thing ever! You wouldn't BELIEVE how many bastards I just wish I could kill over and over again! Boy…or whatever the hell you are…you certainly picked the wrong demon with a head cold to mess with!"

Realizing that his illusion had backfired, Ban dismissed his fake self, while still Gig's mind clouded enough to stay hidden. "Heh…so, you're gonna play the coward now?" Gig asked the air around him. "Pathetic! Just come out and fight like a man! Better yet, come out and fight like a corpse, one that actually STAYS down for the count; it'll help you get used to what you'll be in about three minutes!"

"Interesting; the other man I've met on this island reacted with terror at that sight. Nice to see you're not as lame as you look. Heck, I might have to actually use my best technique on you," Ban commented from somewhere in the room, as he wound up a punch and prepared to knock Gig out.

"Best technique? Oh, please," Gig scoffed, quickly turning around and blocking the punch aimed at his head. Knowing how to identify the faint traces of a mortal spirit was one of Gig's innate abilities as a Master of Death; it made the whole 'collect-souls-that-need-to-be-reincarnated' thing go smoothly. "So you can play a few head games; my personal slave Vitali can do that just by talking. What kind of technique do you think could actually threaten a badass like me?"

"This one. Snake Bite!" Midou called out, his speed faster than Gig's reaction time. In all honesty, yelling the name of a technique at your opponent is actually a silly thing to do. But, as his fist burrowed into Gig's chest, and the killer of kings fell to the ground as limp as a ragdoll, the GetBacker thought that it was the little things like that which made a fight actually enjoyable. "Now, if you really wanted to eliminate ten percent of my spinal column, you should've been faster then that."

"What are you…oh, yeah; the 'decimate' thing," Gig said, trying to hide the fact that having someone's hand inches away from his heart wasn't a big deal. He also tried his hardest to ignore the fact that his current situation was the first move he used against Ban himself. "By the way, get your fucking fist out of my fucking chest; Vitali's going to be pissed if he comes back and has to cure more than a case of the sniffles. And did I forget to mention that I'm the embodiment of freakin' DEATH?! You REALLY expect to just off me here and now?"

"I've been thinking about that," Ban stated, taking some time to enjoy groping around Gig's insides while the white-haired man was practically paralyzed. "Yeah, you proved that seeing dead things and the idea of dying yourself aren't major threats. But what powers do you have? Or, should I say that as, why haven't you used anything other than your bare hands to try and get rid of me? I doubt you even have the sword and scythe of a true Grim Reaper."

"No…but I've got one hell of a golf club," Gig uttered, stretching out as far as he could to the golf club he had taken from Waluigi, which had been given to Vitali, who had luckily left it behind when he left earlier that afternoon. He fingers were able to just reach the handle, and with a quick twist of the wrist, he belted Ban in the back of the head. The boy fell to the ground, and Gig proceeded to slam the club into his body, until both his arms and legs had been broken beyond repair. Gig was going to finish him off then and there, but decided to wait until he could get some of Vitali's bandages to cover the gaping chest wound.

After finding some gauze in one of the cabinets that Membrane had crudely installed before being kicked out by Vitali, Gig returned to the body of the stranger. "So…wait a second. You never gave me a name, did you? Spill it; I'm going to need SOMETHING to write on your tombstone."

"Ban. Ban Midou, of the GetBackers," the almost-dead boy whispered, his lungs bleeding internally.

"…And here I was, thinking 'Waluigi' was a stupid name. Ban, before you go off into that wild black-and-blue yonder, I just want to say something about that 'sword and scythe' thing you mentioned a minute ago. I've actually read a bit of mythology before, y'know. And according to a lot of you wimpy mortals, the reapers of souls use scythes to collect the spirits of the poor, and swords to collect the spirits of a king. Now, realize that I'm about to off you with a golf club. Do you want to know what that symbolizes? All of this has been nothing but a game to me, and you lose. Thanks for playing, and next time, set the difficulty level to 'pathetically easy'; you might actually last half a minute longer."

One more impact into the cranium, and whatever mental processes needed to run the human body were permanently offline. Gig decided to drag Ban's lifeless body into a corner of the cavern; while the smell would probably drive him batty once his sinuses were cleared out, the boy would rot even worse if left out in the storm. Plus, like the man Gig won his new hat from, the corpse probably had some cool gear stashed somewhere on his person. But, that was for another day; right now, he would get back to trying to relax, just like Vitali had recommended he do over four hours ago…

"…Hey, wait a second! What the fuck happened to that damn cleric?! Bastard STILL hasn't come back yet!"

~!~!~

"Hmm…this could prove to be quite interesting," the man oft described as 'Ethereal' muttered, as he stared into the eyes of the young man standing before him. "I accept."

**END OF CHAPTER 3**

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**Author's Note:** In case I say in my profile that I lost this round, please search for the author known as Khellan Rafe, and read his story about Ban to find out what happened to poor ol' Gig. And if I win, check it out anyways; why shouldn't you? He's a rather skilled author, you know.


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